Tuesday, 14 November 2017

Day 486. 7 Facts about Me.

This diary entry is going to be something different to the norm.

A friend on Twitter tagged me in a challenge to reveal 7 facts about myself. My first thought was that there isn't anything I haven't revealed about myself while writing my diary.  But with a little more thought I realise that all I have written in my diary revolves around me the poor victim of a cheating partner. Tears, drama, moaning, catastrophes and lots and lots of poo. Of the canine and equine variety I should just clarify.

So this entry is going to be about me. The me that isn't ruled by all of the above as all that shit doesn't really define me, at least I don't want to. Before I get started let me introduce myself. My name is Sarah, I'm 42 and I live in Devon. Here are some facts that you will not know about me. I can't promise they're interesting, but they're real.

Here we go.

Ok don't panic, this is not going to be a 5,000 page autobiography charting my entire life but the beginning seems a good place to, well, begin.  I was born in Queen Charlottes Hospital in London.  Soon after it was discovered that I had a defect and it was determined to be a form of spina bifida. I don't know the actual name of the defect I have as I never bothered to find out. I spent quite a bit of time visiting Great Ormond Street Hospital as a child and one year my annual visit actually turned out to be major surgery on my back. Again not sure exactly what was what but I believe it was something along the lines of untwisting some nerves or some such. I haven't had too many problems since but I do have a "lump" on my lower back just above my bum and it is unsightly and makes me large arse look even larger. I also have a huge scar.

You'll miss it when you're older. Best days of your life. We've all heard it. But do we ever listen? Hell no. I rarely went to school. I was a shit. A demon child and nobody was going to tell me what to do. I was extremely clever and that was half of the problem, yet I left school with no qualifications at all. But I had a good time. I was suspended from school twice and then expelled a month or so before the summer holidays. Gee! What punishment. 2 or 3 months off school dossing about. My poor parents. I cringe now thinking about it.

Nobody likes feet, myself included. Not even my own. They're big and ugly and I won't mention the h word (sounds like fairy). Yet I have this problem with toes. I have to count them. If I see feet I have to count the toes. I try not to look as I know it's weird and I have no idea where I've got it from but there it is. If you show me your feet I will count your toes.

Soy Medio Espanol
If you use Google translate, the way I did, you should see that I am half Spanish. This is because my my mum is from Spain. I have almost no family in the UK but a huge family in Spain that I don't really know. As a child I was a beautiful olive skinned Mediterranean muneca and it was clear that I was a little bit spicy. Nowadays I am mostly grey and barely recognisable as human.

I enjoyed a drink when I was younger. See school above. Anything I could get my hands on. To this day the smell of red wine conjures up the memory of my 16th birthday and the 2 bottles I had drunk and subsequently puked down my shell suit while I lay on the floor of the village car park. As an adult I'm not much of a drinker for various reasons, so this fact is that I have never tried Prosecco, Tequila, Pimms or even had a  G&T.

I'm partial to a ginger and I don't mean biscuits, they're rank! Ginger hair. I always fancy the ginger. I had a ginger boyfriend as a teen. I chased him for months and he finally asked me out. After a week or so he was too clingy so I chucked him. Another ginger I was obsessed with turned out to be doing dirty things with his sister. The poor gingers at school always had a hard time but look at them now with their gorgeousness. I have ginger hair envy. Add in blue eyes and freckles and I'm in!

The hippy hippy break
Not so much break but dislocate. Yes people at the ripe old age of 31 I dislocated my hip. I fell off my extremely mahoosive horse and landed on my feet. Twice. The second time my hip said seeya and snuck out the back. Of the joint that is. A nice ride in an ambulance, the max morphine available and a week in hospital later and I was a minor celebrity.  Doctors, nurses and students kept coming to look at the young healthy woman who had managed to dislocate the largest joint in her body. Who knew it was such a rareity! I spent 3 months wearing a brace that meant I couldn't be at 90 degrees and I never jumped my horse again.

So there we have it. 7 facts about me that don't involve the usual mumbling I present. I wish I was clever enough to include links to the other lovely ladies that are also doing this, alas I am not. I've no qualifications don't you know!

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